I swear I posted on the third, fourth and fifth–or was it the third, fifth and sixth?–I managed to miss a 24-hour day in there somewhere by living a 36-hour day which included staying up for 24 hours before taking a very long nap but um this is not my personal journal so I do not mean to be diarying here just explaining that see my web host was doing a migration and somewhere in the interstices between servers three of my posts for NaBloPoMo slipped away into dust or whatever it is that bits become when they cease to be.

or, um, wherever they go when they all get zeroed out. I guess they resolve into non-difference then although I imagine it could be argued that the circuits in which the zeroed data used to exist still remain as heterogeneous surfaces or objects although I know it is not meant to be made of more than one or two things but still there is no such thing as repetition or there is no such thing as an identical instance of zero.

mathematicians will argue with that but I am not meaning to look at zero as a defined entity or a defined non-entity but just an instance and instances never repeat although they do cycle through. the circle is a spiral but it is not headed anywhere. it does not spiral up, for instance. nor does it spiral down, left, right, south, north, east or west. I would say it spirals in place but spiraling instances do not stay in places.

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what to say

so it seems that my last two posts have disappeared from my database during a web host migration to a different server. I would go into some trouble to track down a backup but I think I can re-do them a little later but first I must post today’s piece.

this started out as an unremarkable piece of ascii art which for just a moment became something kind of interesting but I ruined it and by that time I was out of undo’s and recreating it from scratch would have been a waste of time so I kept working at but it was unsalvageable once I passed a certain point so I finally deleted almost all of it and made this from the little bit I kept, which is not ascii art as it now contains utf-8 characters although that doesn’t matter since it isn’t text at this point.

I am not yet certain if I like it or not or if it was successful in any way but I did try something completely absurd and ended up with something completely unrelated to my first idea and looking good enough that I dare to post it.

it’s a bit minimalistic. it might help to download it and look at it against a darker background. perhaps I should have created a dark border for it. perhaps I will. not right now, though.

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speechlessly the idiot faced the crowd

Tonight I felt like saying things in a slightly different way, but it turns out that I have paying work to do and so all I have to offer is this unfinished image. I realize it does not really have what one would call a central focus, which is not necessarily a fault, but I have not yet decided whether I need one or not:

Wildlife (in progress)

Wildlife (in progress)

The original is 6000 pixels wide onscreen, so I thought I’d be nice and not try to overwhelm your monitor with the whole thing, but below is a detail at full size. I will probably work a little to soften some of the edges. Otherwise, I have a few things in mind that I still want to add to break up the monotony a little but it is always fun editing large images on a 15″ laptop. Yes I would love a bigger monitor. Stay tuned for the tip jar! Here is the closeup:

Wildlife detail

Wildlife detail

You can see a larger version here, but this still is quite a bit smaller than the original. I sometimes wish that I could line my walls with glowing lcd screens because I have always found their luminosity especially fascinating in a way that old CRT screens just never did it for me, you know?

The working title is “wildlife.” Beyond this I cannot tell you any more about what it will look like when “finished” because I myself do not know. I work intuitively most of the time and rarely plan out work like this in advance. In fact, when I do plan them out in advance is usually when I get the poorest results, so whether or not there is method to my madness, there is at least sometimes a sense of direction and that uncanny feeling you get when you know it is time to stop. I have not reached that point with this piece yet.


Just to keep the political fires fanned, here are a few links for you:

LJ user sparkymonster on racism in the queer community

Obama’s mandate is not to keep America treading the center-right path

Maya Angelou answers the question, “Is there a tiny little part of you that says ‘Did this really happen?'”